Shocking New York Times Review of The Little Mermaid Complains the Children’s Film Had Insufficient ‘Kink’

A shocking New York Times review of The Little Mermaid complained that the children’s film had insufficient ‘kink.’

The review, perhaps correctly, noted that the film “reeks of obligation and noble intentions,” but lost most people when it continued to say “joy, fun, mystery, risk, flavor, kink — they’re missing.”

“The new, live-action ‘The Little Mermaid’ is everything nobody should want in a movie: dutiful and defensive, yet desperate for approval. It reeks of obligation and noble intentions. Joy, fun, mystery, risk, flavor, kink — they’re missing,” the review begins. “The movie is saying, ‘We tried!’ Tried not to offend, appall, challenge, imagine. A crab croons, a gull raps, a sea witch swells to Stay Puft proportions: This is not supposed to be a serious event. But it feels made in anticipation of being taken too seriously. Now, you can’t even laugh at it.”

The reviewer complained that there was not enough “carnality,” which of course, is defined as “feeling morbid sexual desire or a propensity to lewdness.”

“The brown skin and placeable accents don’t make the movie more fun, just utopic and therefore less arguable. Now, what you’ve got is something closer to the colorblind wish fulfillment of the Shonda Rhimes streaming universe, minus the wink-wink, side-eye and carnality,” the reviewer continued.

Naturally, the review was not well-received on social media.


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