Islamic Cleric Bans Women From Handling Bananas, Cucumbers & Other Phallic Produce

They could arouse women and make them think of sex.

An Islamic cleric in Europe says that women should avoid bananas, cucumbers, zucchini and other phallic fruits and vegetables. They may arouse sexual thoughts and that would be horrible.
Bikamasr reported, via ROP:

An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

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  • Blacque Jacques Shellacque

    An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

    Now if this ain’t the pinnacle of stupid…

  • Espresso Logic – The 6th Sense

    These Mooslime pigs are f*cking batsh$t crazy.

  • bg


    i truly fear for all women’s futures, especially here in the US, because
    they ain’t seen nothin’ yet.. they truly haven’t a clue how things could
    literally turn overnight (time relative of course).. hah, they don’t even
    realize the change that has already taken place.. *sigh*


  • Militant Conservative

    Yet the men folk can still be goat/sheep/camel/insert here/ hearders???

    I see none for you and all for me. Islam is a pervert and the women are nones.

    powder is dry

  • Bert
  • shrek

    B W D M T

    But what does moochelle think?

  • bg


    btw, it’s nothing new, ie: April 22, 2007

    Hey buddy, veil those tomatoes

    American commanders cite al-Qaida’s severe brand of Islam, which is
    so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not
    to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are
    different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.

    oh yeah, speaking of cucumbers.. 😛


  • toongoon

    Better keep the males away from taco’s.

  • 99RedBallons

    They have to reduce the competition.

    Just because the women would rather have sex with a cucumber than the cleric or other Muslim men.

  • Path

    As soon as I stop laughing I have to say that if it brings men into the kitchen – cutting and cooking – it can’t be ALL bad. Didn’t obama just okay sodomy and beastiality?? Maybe this is his way of bringing men out of the barn and back into the home. Please God, where is the America I was raised in? I’m very freightened but, thy will be done.

  • Lauren

    Maybe he has a problem with cucumbers and bananas, because all he has is a baby carrot

  • Carol LK

    Hey fellas, what about melons? Kinda reminds ya of boobies?? Gotta ban those too then. (Then again some women only have oranges or lemons….so better add those to the list.) Oh, and wait….what about those baby carrots and Japanese eggplant…maybe more representative of what those Islamo-turds have hangin’ between their legs and obviously using for brains. Can’t make this stuff up!!!

  • #10 bing…………….that could be the problem right there…………..

  • ant

    But if the men cut the vegetables into “small bits”, won’t it then remind the women of Muslim men’s genitalia even more?

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  • Why would any Muslim woman who has had her genitals mutilated want sex anyway?

  • Granny

    Oh goodie – that will make for a really healthy next generation of muslims. They’ve already forced their women into black body bags that allow only the merest slit for vision, a scenario that has brought about a huge increase in rickets in children and early-onset osteoporosis in women in the UK (and other places) and now they want to deny them the nutrition of squash, carrots, eggplant, cucumbers . . . . personally, I would offer the good “cleric” a small bit or two.

  • squeaky

    black body bags make it difficult eating…..

  • pep

    and whatever you do keep them away from the oysters

  • Firebird

    This cleric should be on pervert watch. Show him those Rorshach things. Frightening what women endure in that cesspool over there.

  • SOB

    Doesn’t go far enough.

    They should cut off all noses and possibly even poke out all eyes as well, least they look at a face and be reminded of a flaccid penis and pair of balls.

    That would really fix their problem! (or, in the very least, ours…)

  • donh

    He has a point when it comes to those carnival flesh color dipped banana on a stick…>>

  • martha

    Yeah right, like a woman with mutilated lady bits is really gonna be hot to trot to start with

  • nina

    I really hate carrots….

  • Sasja

    Funny, I peeled a banana this morning to put in my cereal and all I thought about was…peeling a banana. Must be something wrong with me. One must have a perverted mind to see a piece of fruit, or a vegetable, as something sexual. Now when I see one of these “offensive” items, I will probably burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all, making those in the market think I have gone completely looney tunes.

  • el polacko

    i’m not buying this story. “an unnamed sheikh….residing in europe” is about as vague as one could possibly be. are we sure that this item wasn’t unwittingly lifted from some satire site like the onion ?

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  • MAJ Mike

    What a disfunctional bunch of yahoos these Muslims are. Actions like this say more about the ,Muslim men than the Muslim women. The Muslim women are so beat up psychologically, culturally, and physically that they submit to this nonsense.

    I’m waiting for the usual suspects from NOW to denounce this latest sexist atrocity. Probably be a long wait.

  • I think it should be required that the woman watch the male relative cut it into pieces so she can get ideas…

  • Dave-O

    #7 – ROFLMAO

  • ar05075


    And Hitlery is worried about womens rights in Israel…..LOL.!!!!

  • MrGoodWench

    What about peaches ?

  • KC

    Ok let me get this strait?

    Beastiality is allowed, so they can screw animals.

    But I’m gonna die for loving my cucumber?


  • LarryG
  • William

    The Muslim Holy men, and Muslim males in general, have been found, and once again demonstrate, that they are sick, perverted, obnoxious barbarians.

    The “Holy Man,” or “Islamic cleric” in this case merely betrays his own sexual obsession, projecting it onto others, in this case, faceless “women.”

    The Islamic cleric is the one who thinks of sex when he sees a banana, a cucumber, a carrot, a zucchini, and so forth. In my years on this planet, few, if any women think about sex every time they see a banana, cucumber, zucchini, or carrot.

    The crazy blood-and-death cult members of the Religion of Peace, Love, Mercy, Compassion, Tolerance, and Understanding (I want to puke whenever I have heard, or hear that nonsense description of Islam, the most intolerant religion, the most violent religion in human history, the most hateful religion in history, and the last religion on planet earth in all of history willing to see peace, or care about love and mercy and compassion), who were involved in the 9/111/2001 terrorist-militant attack/act-of-war against the USA, all spent their last days displaying the REAL modesty of Muslims, as they attended strip bars, and hung out with hookers.

    Muslims take and peddle drugs, are involved in slave trade, kidnap women and send them around as sex slaves, rape women, charge the woman, as victim, with fornication, then imprison them, torture them, and stone them to death or whip them to death.

    Sick, perverted male Muslims assault women who don’t wear their scarves and other head dress properly, attack and beat, and even murder girls and women who walk alone, are “too western,” drive a car by themselves, and so forth. This form of oppression, disdain, disrespect, and violent assault and murder against women actually takes place here in the USA as well as in Europe, even now.

    In Saudi Arabia, the “Religious Police” of Islam forbade rescue workers, passersby, parents, and others, from rescuing young girls trapped inside a school fire, all because they, allegedly, were not wearing the “proper head dress.”

    Couldn’t these barbarians have rescued the girls then whipped them? At least the girls might still be alive. If they are so misogynistic, and intolerant, couldn’t their hatred, violence, and sadism have been satiated by ten, twenty, or thirty lashes for each girl? As unjust as that is, on account that their head dress was not properly worn, it is a hell of a lot more preferable than making rescue workers, parents, passersby, etc., stand around, helpless, while the young, innocent girls screamed in agony as they burned alive, to death, perhaps THE most painful, most horrible form of death there is.

    If anything, those “Religious police” should have been ripped to pieces by the people, and the rescue workers should have trampled over the dead bodies of the Saudi Islamic “Religious Police” en route to entering the school building and rescuing the innocent girls.

    No. Islam has demonstrated for 1400 years, that they are a barbaric, violent, intolerant, vicious, merciless, deceptive, warm mongering, hate filled, misogynist cult/religion. They slaughtered millions of Hindus, Jains, Zoroastrians, Jews, Christians, Ba’hais, Buddhists, and others, destroyed their places of worship and artifacts, oppressed their people, and continue to do so. They rip off other cultures and claim that THEY, Islam, or Muslims, originated most everything which was ever discovered, or developed, throughout history, in the realm of science, medicine, mathematics, law, and so on.

    The Islamic Cleric who made that statement about women handling “phallic shaped fruit” thinking about sex is a sexual pervert who gets turned on by the sight, and thought of what he would like to do or see done with these fruits and vegetables. I would not be surprised if he, and his friends, use them on themselves and one another, and on any women they force themselves upon. If he and they weren’t so obsessed with this themselves, then why bring it up?

    Next time you meet an Islamic Cleric who is so absorbed in such nonsense, be careful shaking his hand, or accepting fruit from him. You have no idea where it has been, or what he has done with those hands and fruits.

  • A_Nonny_Mouse

    Yet ANOTHER instance of “projection” on the part of fundamentalist Muslims, as in:

    * I hate the West and am doing everything I can to attack it; therefore I will claim the West is conspiring against Islam.

    * I am a sex-obsessed mo-fo with hardcore porn sites bookmarked on my cell phone; therefore I will accuse the Western way of life as being lewd, depraved, and immoral.

    * Arab nomadic/ tribal culture (especially after centuries of Islamic tradition) attempts to gain advantage over other tribes by curbing their reproductive capability — by accusing their women of impropriety (which necessitates the honor-killing of the accused); and those tribes try to do the same to our women as well. This means that ALL women have to be constantly under the supervision and control of a responsible man of their tribe; so we tell our women how “respected” and “protected” they are under Islam (and how dangerous it is to be a single woman in the West).

    * And of course, who can forget that sex with anyone but a wife or a slave will get you sentenced to Hell in the afterlife; so OBVIOUSLY the most-virtuous among us (those who attack infidels and die in jihad) get to go to an Islamic “Heaven” which bears a more-than-passing resemblance to a bordello. Flowing wine and eternally-virgin houris, isn’t that what you Christian dudes expect from your God when you get to heaven???

    So, going back to this nutjob’s proclamation, we can see what’s REALLY going on with him: HE is thinking about women and cucumbers, (or zucchini or bananas or whatever) and HE is getting all hot and bothered, so he’s gonna get rid of his worries about “sin” by MAKING THE OTHER PERSON CHANGE **HER** ACTIONS.

    (How truly Leftist of them: “I can’t handle what I think or how I think, so YOU need to change in order to make ME comfortable”.)

  • Rock

    Guess there is a shortage of virgins in the great beyond for all the suicide bombers.

  • Valerie

    Hey, I like this guy. He wants the men to help with the cooking!

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  • spike

    what can you expect of a religion that rapes little boys and goats/? For a religion that’s not to think about aex they sure do a lot of it.

  • Nelle

    Perhaps they should just blindfold themselves. They have to be escorted by men anyway, so they don’t really need to see. Yes, cover the sinful eyes, you shameless black-draped cauldrons of seething sex. Leave the vegetables to those who can look upon them without being driven into frenzied sexual excess.
    You only need to see how your men deeply respect and protect you.

  • xiphos

    No sitting on fire hydrants while waiting for the next bus.

  • RedBeard

    The resultant thought is this: How can women, other than those in an insane asylum, voluntarily submit to Islam? It’s like the Stockholm Syndrome, only much more widespread and long-lasting.

    And another thought: How can leftie women in the West fail to condemn this sort of demented misogyny? Well, OK, leftie women are already nuts, by definition. Never mind.

  • CV1

    #27 – I’m with you. This story lacks any factual information. Although Islam is terrible toward women, something is missing in this article. Besides, it appears to be only one man’s opinion and who know if he even has high standing amongst his peers?

  • RedBeard

    CV1, even if this particular story is totally fabricated, it fits perfectly with the way Islamic “holy men” think. Plenty of verified examples of such horrible notions.

  • usamopatriot

    Muslims, the poster children for inbreeding.

  • Greg

    There has to be a string bean comment here someplace. That
    ‘s right doesn’t Michelle grow them in the White house garden.

  • Jerry C

    @#22 beat me to the punch. Bing!

  • Chris in N.Va.

    Let’s not let these sexually-repressed, perpetually adolescent, sex-obsessed and congenitally unable-to-control-themselves Muslim men anywhere even close to donuts. Who knows what kind of wild scene might unfold.

    On the other hand, it might provide a potential trap for terrorist jihadis. Just secretly wire up a of donut to a 100-amp cicuit, place it around the corner from a mosque, sit back and watch the fun.

    Sort of like a bug-zapper…

  • Kissmygrits

    How bad is it for these women if they get hot and bothered over a banana? Doesn’t say much for the men in their lives.

  • GOOD

    So, what the cleric is saying is: no more UFAV (Unmanned Fruit And Vegetables) for women.

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  • O : F


    I actually had a teacher in a writing class who said she couldn’t eat a banana in public because she was afraid of what that might look like. Just saying.

  • i had no clue……….that the size and shape of a fruit or veggie could be so appealing………..

  • averagemelon

    Why don’t Islamic men get it overwith and kill off every woman in their countries so they are free to have sex with each other and the animals freely?

    Their populations would die off and they’d finally be happy.

    WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE WOMEN? Their whole-cloth obedience is stupifying to me. I’d rather DIE than bring children into and live in that world.

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  • Apb

    The cleric is right in a way…if the muzzie women were actually thinking of their husbands, they’d be fondling baby carrots…

  • The Nothing

    Perhaps the cleric knows that the typical Muslim woman would find a banana or a cucumber more appealing than the willy of a typical Muslim man….

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  • Bob Ragu

    How should she handle a sea urchin??

  • Jim

    Ah, but he left out dildos. They must be OK.

  • Beth

    Doesn’t anyone think this story is a fraud meant to set-up Muslims? I mean, come on. This is ridiculous. I don’t particularly like them or anything & do feel the religion is quite backward thinking, but even I can see this story is just retarded and meant to fan the flames of hostility.

  • Andrew

    For those who get absorbed in the Muslim’s laws/idiocy, take a few minutes to learn about a Biblical perspective on death, terrorism and the Middle East:

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