Al Gore Pleaded With Masseuse to "Release His Second Chakra"

Al Gore’s second chakra was bursting full of green energy.

After a long day’s work, the junk scientist needed some hot second chakra action.
Byron York at The Washington Examiner reported, via Ace:

The police report of the masseuse’s complaint is 73 pages long and extremely detailed. According to the document, she got a call from the front desk of the trendy Hotel Lucia on the night of Oct. 24, 2006. The hotel had a special guest. Could she come at 10:30 p.m.?

She went to Gore’s room carrying a folding massage table and other equipment. Gore, whom she had never met, greeted her with a warm embrace. “The hug went on a bit long, and I was taken just a bit aback by it,” the masseuse told police. But she went along because Gore “was a VIP and a powerful individual and the Hotel Lucia had made it clear to me by inference that they were giving him ‘the royal treatment.'”

Gore said he was tired from travel and described in detail the massage he wanted. It included work on the adductor muscles, which are on the inside of the thighs. “I mentally noted that a request for adductor work is a bit unusual,” the masseuse told police, because it can be “a precursor to inappropriate behavior by a male client.”

Gore also requested work on his abdomen. When that began, “He became somewhat vocal with muffled moans, etc.,” the masseuse recounted. Gore then “demand[ed] that I go lower.” When she remained focused on a “safe, nonsexual” area, Gore grew “angry, becoming verbally sharp and loud.”

The masseuse asked Gore what he wanted. “He grabbed my right hand, shoved it down under the sheet to his pubic hair area, my fingers brushing against his penis,” she recalled, “and said to me, ‘There!’ in a very sharp, loud, angry-sounding tone.” When she pulled back, Gore “angrily raged” and “bellowed” at her.

Then, abruptly, the former vice president changed tone. It was “as though he had very suddenly switched personalities,” she recalled, “and began in a pleading tone, pleading for release of his second chakra there.”

Let’s be honest… We’ve all yearned for a little second Chakra release action at one time or another?

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  • Iconoclast

    And *this* was the alternative to Dubya in 2000?

  • Meg

    Jim, you really need to put a warning on this! Too early in the morning for me to handle the visual!

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  • neomom

    My friend is a masseuse, a good looking one at that. The lord blessed her with a beautiful bosom. In conversation I ask her how many times her male clients requested, overtly or covertly, the ultimate in relaxation. She said the act it self is felt as erotic by some customers, male and female. It’s not unusual for men to become erect during massage and yes, it happens more often than I would like. As much as I despise Albert the whack-job, I think the woman is hunting a big payday.

  • olm

    Al Gore gives new meaning to manbearPIG. The loony libs on this coast are still defending them though. Actually loony libs all over.
    My favorite lib comment “so what? it’s not illegal” I’m not sure if that was meant for Clinton or Gore though.
    If this little episode doesn’t make smooth move Al irrelevent, nothing will.

  • Mark1957

    “One Chakra per customer, Al, in an effort to prevent Gorebal warming !”

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  • jomojava

    This whole incident could herald another run for the Democrat Presidential nomination by The Goracle.

  • squeaky

    “My favorite lib comment “so what? it’s not illegal” I’m not sure if that was meant for Clinton or Gore though.” i would think that john edward’s situation would point out the big time drawbacks to “it’s just sex”. al’s situation beyond the sexual should maybe be his anger.

  • JKB

    “Release the second chakra”? Is that what the new age kids are calling it now? Definitely a code orange situation.

    neomom – yes, massage can be erotic, stimulating and/or emotionally releasing. But in the adult world, such reactions are simply ignored and handled professionally. If Al had wanted more personal service, I’m sure it could have been arranged with a sex worker. By trying to impose it on this regular masseuse, he insulted her both professionally and personally. If it can be proven by a preponderance of the evidence, she deserves a big payout.

  • Warthog

    Oh man, Gore is so done.
    Sex poodle? Begging to have his second chakra released?

    He will not be able to show his face without people snickering. He’s like that poor kid in high-school who farted loudly one day and was forever razzed as “Stinky.”

    Except here, Gore royally deserves it.

    (Watch out! Watch out, he’s going to release his second chakra!…))

  • Adirondack Patriot

    What a flake.

    To think that this guy was 537 votes away from becoming President of the United States.

    Holy chakra, Batman!

  • Janek Ignace

    May the Chakra be with him!

  • That is the sickest thing I’ve ever heard, he’s worse than Clinton.

  • Leave Algore ALONE!

  • Follow the law

    yicky maybe you want seconds of chocolra but the rest of us want people like this safely in custody. Creep out.

  • gorgo

    So since when did staunch, upright Southern Baptists (which Gore was long described as, as far back as the ’80s-’90s) get into chakras?

  • Sen. Fuller Bull – D

    Given the way Gore’s mouth always looks when he’s speaking, I cannot help but think that we have a solution to the Gulf oil spill.

  • Valerie

    I voted for him for President, but I think we dodged a bullet when he lost. Thank you, all those of you who voted for George the first time around.

  • Chisum
  • Paul_______

    I’m not trying to be funny here, but doesn’t “releasing a Chakra” means “Jerking Off???”

    I’m jus’ sayin’.

  • Nance

    Quick grab ‘the orb’ so Al can haz a goregasm

  • olm

    I have no idea what that c word is but Al Gore looks like, well kind of like Obama, a spoiled rotten little boy who wanted his needs attended to.
    I think he’s done too but read the comments on the Oregonian website. The looney libs of Portland are villifying the massage therapist. No wonder she didn’t press charges.

  • Taxpayer1234

    Love the photo!!!!

  • Sen. Fuller Bull – D

    Al Gore Pick-Up Lines:

    “Hey, baby, come over here and warm my globe.”

    “Would like to come up to my place so that I can show you my carbon offsets?”

    “Go out with me, baby, so the other guys will be Going Green with envy!”

  • newton

    Tipper, your divorce payday will be BIG!!! Savor it!

    “Thank you, all those of you who voted for George the first time around.”

    You’re welcome!

  • So… Al Whore was practicing on her what he wants to do to US – RAPE!

  • James

    I’m sure SNL and the rest of the liberal media will be all over this in 3..2…1…. anytime now….1…1…1..

  • Dave In Houston

    What is the first Chakra? Is there a third? How do you know when your Chakra is released? Did Tipper and Al ever get their Chakra on together, or is this a solo Al thing?

    Is there a tasteful way to even discuss this?

    Why are so many Democrats so weird when it comes to sex?

    Why are Democrats so weird period?

  • AKJ

    Give new meaning to the phrase “Man Bear Pig”

  • Auntie Em

    He is the grossest man alive. He literally is vomit inducing.

  • Don Rodrigo

    Someone who talks about “Chakras” should never be President. Thank God for Florida!

    Of course, someone who doesn’t even act American, nor seems to even like Americans shouldn’t be President either; and I ain’t talkin’ about Gore.

  • kato

    Crazed sex poodle looks like he wants a low-carbon emission up his tailpipe.

  • Buffalobob

    Chakra, A yoga term, “Center of spiritual power in the body”.
    Chakra, Algore term, “happy ending”.

  • MochaLite


  • Wowza


  • wanumba

    Would like to wish Tipper all the best in her divorce settlement, if it wasn’t for the fact that Al Gore’s huge fortune has been amassed via an elaborate swindle of the public, with government and NGO collusion.

    If we can’t get that money back, then the least we can do is hope Tipper takes the Goreacle to the temple and denudes him of his first AND second chakra.

  • Peggy Griffin

    A crazed sex poodle? Poodles of the world, unite! And sue the socks off this overheated global warming freak!

  • Joe Mama

    Ewwww, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  • Matt

    Is Goral sex really sex?

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  • Chisum
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